When you step on the ground And all you do is fall When you hold on to the world And all you do is slip away What is solid ground? Am I this easy, Easy to sway?
How can I breathe With this stale air? When can I step on something Without falling away? All I do is fall All I do is crawl Where is my security? Who can lift me today? Because who I am Does not feel like I am Who I am Does not know what to say
All I hope And all I pray Is that someday This will all go away
Someday My falling feet My crawling knees Will find a solid ground And stay.
Poet’s note: I wrote this poem in the middle of working overtime. Out of nowhere, I stopped what I was doing, got a scratch paper from my mess of a table and poured my soul into the blank parts, with no proper form, in about 20 minutes; this piece was born. It was written from a dark place, underground, far from the demands of society, somewhere I only knew. I was working for a year already from college graduation at the time, and I remember thinking “I’ve been doing this adulting thing for a year now, why do I still feel like I don’t know anything even a pinch of how to be a proper adult?” However, I still wrote this with a bit of hope that maybe years from now, I won’t feel so lost as I did when I wrote it.
But little did I know, I would feel this a bunch of times more years later. Here I am now, starting all over again feeling like my feet has just begun to walk on steady ground. But guess what’s the difference? I now know that everyone feels the same way. And feeling lost is not an alien feeling, shouldn’t be shameful, and shouldn’t ever be a taboo. I feel it time and time again, just as everyone else, knowing that there will be times where I will feel strong and steady just like the times where I will feel lost and crawling. It’s a fact of life. We’re all just trying to figure this out. All trying to find security and a steady ground. I now learned to enjoy the feeling of wandering. And cherish every moment of it. Because this, what we’re feeling right now, this present moment–this is LIFE. And it’s one hell of a ride, but all the good things that come with it are definitely worth it.